Grief and Loss Counseling
In Person Counseling in San Rafael, CA and online grief counseling in California
Coping with Grief and Loss
The loss of your loved one has left you devastated, feeling as though you can't go on. You feel numb, in a fog, lost, and fear you will never be yourself and function again.
Every day you catch yourself wanting to call them or reach out to them, but they aren't there. You wait for them to walk through the door and yet again, you are reminded that they are gone. You are helpless to stop the pain you feel inside. You are left with guilt about things you didn’t say or do.
You think you are going crazy…feeling a myriad of emotions-sadness, fear, anger, guilt. Too many emotions in one day. Sometimes you feel nothing, sometimes you have outbursts, and sometimes you feel completely hopeless. Your can't concentrate or think through the things you need to get done. Everything feels meaningless.
Grief has taken over your whole self.
The grief is felt in your whole body as it hurts, especially your chest. You have no energy, appetite, and you can’t sleep. You feel physically sick. You want to be alone because you feel no one really understands your pain. You feel they are tired of listening to you…it’s already been 3 or 6 months or longer. Or they try to “fix it.” Or tell you they’re “in a better place.”
Other times you feel so lonely and depressed and feel desperate for connection. When no one is there you drink alcohol or eat junk food to try to ease the pain. You don’t understand why bad things happen to good people. Your faith or spiritual practices are not providing comfort or easing the pain like they used to either.
You really feel you need someone to talk to who won’t judge you or try to fix the pain.
Compassionate Grief Counseling in San Rafael, CA and online grief counseling in California
I’m Michelle, a licensed California therapist who specializes in grief and loss counseling for those who have experienced the death of a loved one. I won’t judge or try to fix your pain. I will listen with an open, caring heart. I provide a safe space for you to express your deepest feelings about this loss that you can’t share with others.
Through counseling you will discover you aren't alone, as we explore the grieving process and what it looks like for you. Many of my clients find relief in knowing they aren't "crazy" as they share the thoughts and emotions that bombard them daily. Instead, I will help you work with the fear, intense pain and sadness, anger, or guilt. Your process of moving through this is unique to you. There is no “right way” to grieve.
I will support you in focusing on the basics of your self-care so you feel like you can function. I will teach you mind-body tools, such as breathing, centering, or guided imagery to manage the waves of sadness, fear, and overwhelm. I will help you to slowly decrease any behaviors, such as over drinking, that are harmful to you.
Additional Support to Cope with Grief and Loss
If you lost your loved one suddenly or unexpectedly, I will teach you trauma-informed tools to help you feel calmer, manage strong emotions, manage intrusive memories or nightmares so you can function better.
We will explore your spiritual or world views that may have changed with this loss. I will help you to find ways to connect to places of comfort, and meaning and purpose again. I will support you when you feel you can’t go on by taking small steps to engage in life again and and know how to cope with work, family, and social obligations.
Slowly the “unbearable” will become “bearable” and you will begin to thrive again within yourself and with your family and friends.
Caring, Insightful, Resourceful Grief and Loss Counseling
If you need support as you grieve the loss of a loved one, schedule your free 15 minute phone consultation here. We will develop a compassionate plan that best meets your needs for healing.
My other specialties include trauma-informed care/trauma focused therapy, coping with cancer and chronic illness, and women’s health and wellness.
FAQs for Coping with Grief and Loss
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Mindfulness refers to a psychological quality that involves bringing one’s complete attention to the present moment to moment experience. It may be mindfulness of a thought, emotion, sound, or body sensation. It is characterized by non-judgment, curiosity, openness, acceptance, anc compassion.
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If you experienced a sudden or violent loss of a loved one, then it is very likely that you are experiencing various trauma symptoms as well.
Trauma is held in the emotional centers of the brain and in the body. Thus it needs to be treated through mindful awareness of the sensations and movements that are being held in the body. I utilize Sensorimotor Psychotherapy to treat trauma. ( See FAQs under the trauma informed/trauma focused speciality)
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Recent thinking has moved away from a fixed stage model that everyone goes through as they grieve. Instead J. William Worden, PhD identified the “Four Tasks of Mourning.” Alan Wolfelt, PhD identified the “Mourner’s Six Reconciliation Needs.”
Worden tasks include: 1) To Accept the Reality of the Loss. 2) To Process the Pain of the Grief. 3) To Adjust to a World Without the Deceased. 4) To Find an Enduring Connection with the Deceased in the Midst of Embarking on a New Life.